Don't claim to have made any of these up. Got them in a forwarded email, but so many were funny - I had to repost:
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
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Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
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Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
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It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
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The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
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When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
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People are funny; They want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and the back of the church.
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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
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Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
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We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
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God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
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Some minds are like concrete - Thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
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Peace starts with a smile.
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I don't know why some people change churches. What difference does it make which one you stay home from?
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A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
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Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
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Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
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Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
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Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
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Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
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Forbidden fruits create many jams.
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God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
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God grades on the cross, not the curve.
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God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
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God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
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He who angers you, controls you!
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If God is your co-pilot, swap seats!
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Prayer:
Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
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The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
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The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
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We don't change the message, the message changes us.
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You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
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The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.
