Sacrifice

Yesterday, at church, our sermon was about sacrifice. God sacrificed His ONLY Son for us. He let His son be born to die for us. Can you even wrap your head around that? God knows all -- He knew how His son was going to have to die. Yet, He sent Him to us anyway. Can you understand that? He knew in advance that His son would have to die a horrible death, yet he counted us as worth that sacrifice. Wow. I am without words to say to express my appreciation of His sacrifice. I am amazed that He thought I was worthy of such a sacrifice. I am amazed by the depths of His love for us. That He wants a relationship with us. That all He wants of us is for us to love Him.

My mother's heart is in awe of this fact. I have been saved for many years, yet I am sure that I wasn't aware until I held my first child how it must have felt for God to decide to sacrifice His son for us. Can you even imagine such a thing? Can you even fathom having a child just to watch them die a gruesome death? I love my little girl with a love I didn't know existed until I looked into her tiny face. It still amazes me that someone you hadn't even met before can captivate you so inexplicably in the instant you make eye contact. I loved her before she was born, but to see her face -- to look into those eyes. She had me in the palm of her hand.

When I almost lost my second daughter when she was an adult, I was feeling pain akin to no other I had ever felt before. Here I was, expecting a grandchild, expecting a normal delivery, expecting joy and happiness. For over a month, I was in a mother's hell. I didn't know from one day to the next if my baby girl was going to go home to Jesus. Glory be to God, I did not have to lose her. For that and for so many things, I praise my Creator for all He has done for me.

My point is, I didn't have to sacrifice my child. God did sacrifice His. He did it for me. He did it for you. God knows the pain of losing a child. God lives with the pain of rejection every single minute of every single day. Every single time He beckons one of His children to Him and they reject Him, He must feel this.

Do something for Him. Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. You'll never be sorry.

It's a Wonderful Life...

Merry Christmas.

As I ponder what is important this holiday season, besides Jesus being the obvious choice, I seem to keep going back to my family. I know, I harp on how great a family I have, but it is true. We have some characters in our family, and they know who they are (I am one of them). The fact that you can choose your friends, but not your family is certainly true. Honestly, I love spending holidays with my family members. Some of those family members are my friends, too. I love the holidays when we just spend the day together. Sitting around talking and sharing time together. Sounds trite, but it isn't really. I just love it.

I think I would enjoy living on a commune with my girls and their families. They are a fun lot of people. I am thankful to God for giving my oldest child a man who actually loves her and puts her first in his life. I don't have to worry about whether or not he loves her children -- you can see how much he does. She is happy, and that makes me happy. My youngest has a man who cherishes her and their kids. He is the perfect man for her. I doubt if my children would like to live on a commune with me, so I will settle for them living in the same proximity that I live. I love that I can see them whenever I need to.

I love my grandchildren with a love that is totally different from my children. Very strong and protective, very gentle and sweet. I don't have to raise them into people, so I can just love them. And I do. So very much. None of them are perfect, but they are perfect enough for me.

I just watched It's a Wonderful Life the other night on TV. It is a holiday favorite of mine. (I also like Christmas Vacation and the Grinch as well.) Anyway, I was thinking what would change if I had never been born, and it blows me away to realize what wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been born. I didn't have the greatest of childhoods, and am by no means as important as George Bailey was to his community, but I have value. I have worth. If it weren't for me, my children wouldn't have been born, nor would I have my grandchildren. We all impact each other, whether we are aware of it or not. I pray that my impact would be a positive one. I have so many people who love me, and I am very blessed.

All in all, I have a wonderful life.

Scrooges

What is it about Christmas that brings out the worst in people? The sour pusses that complain about all things Christmas. I am talking about the Scrooges of the world. I am talking to the ones who hate spending money on presents, who hate to decorate their homes, who hate Christmas music, who secretly or not so secretly hate those of us that love Christmas. The ones who say they don't even want any presents so that they don't have to buy any for anyone else. The ones that bah humbug so much that they ruin the holidays for the ones that love it. They say that Christmas has gone all commercial and it is all about the presents. I beg to differ.

Christmas is all about remembering the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Sure, we all get presents, and most of us like that, but it isn't the focus of our Christmas. Christmas Eve service at Waters Edge is my focus. I am so excited to be there again this year. I love my church. I love my church for many reasons, and one of them is the Christmas Eve service. My family plans their festivities around this service. It is always mind blowing. It is always Christ focused. It is always worth attending. Those involved in the Christmas Eve service give up much of their holiday time planning, practicing, and investing in the service. Those people sacrifice their time, their family time, their talents, and sometimes their money to be sure that the Christmas Eve service at Waters Edge is unforgettable for those that attend. You would know what I am talking about if you ever went to one of our Christmas Eve services. I don't plan on missing out on an amazing extravaganza of talent, a beautiful heartfelt message, and some of the best music in town. If you don't have a church home, you are welcome to join our church. It is a place that will change the way you feel about church. We do things differently, but we do it good!

One thing to the scrooges of the world - Don't spread your negativity to those of us who love all the things about Christmas. Just let us go about loving the holiday and all that goes with it. Don't rain on our parade. It is okay to not like it, it is not okay to be such a grump that you make others miserable. Give it a try. Do it differently this year. Go with the flow. Enjoy yourself. You might just change your mind if you let the spirit of the holiday get inside you.

I love the Christmas message, I love the presents, I love the shopping, I love the faces of the children when they get "just what they wanted." I love the baking, the celebrating, the parties, the clothes, I love all of this holiday, and I especially love Jesus Christ, and am forever humbled by what he did to make this possible. I celebrate the birth of our Lord because he came willingly to lay down His life for me. I never have to be separated from Him - NOT EVER.

Eternity with Jesus Christ. Don't leave this world without it. Merry Christmas everyone!

It's that time again...

Yes, I am going to write about Eden's birthday again. I can't escape the feelings that come to the surface at this time of year. She will be 7 years old tomorrow. I love that kid. She is such a blessing. She has her moments (just ask her Mom), but all in all, she is pretty great. She puts pressure on herself to do well in school, she overreacts to stress, she can be a handful, but she has my heart. There is something pretty special about her. Having a grandchild is such a wondrous thing. I almost lost my precious daughter when Eden was born, but God in His infinite wisdom decided that it wasn't time for her to go. I am forever grateful that He let her heal and stay on earth with us. The emotions that come up at this time of year are pretty overwhelming sometimes. I am not dwelling on the sadness of the whole thing, but the weeping that I do is because of what God did in spite of everything that happened. God gave me a peace about Bethany that is hard to fathom. I never experienced a total reliance on God as I did during that time. My daughter's life was in His hands, and I was totally powerless--there was nothing that I could do to help her. It was up to Him whether she lived or died. I am happy that she lived, I am grateful to God for her healing. I think that I need reminding sometimes of that feeling of total reliance on God. Sometimes I feel like I take Him for granted and only need to think back on that time of great stress to realize that He is with me always. He will never leave me or forsake me. I have that assurance through His Son!

I have to say, though, that all of my grandchildren are pretty special. I reflect on how lucky I am to have such good daughters and grandchildren. I am so blessed by them. Every single one of them has strengths and gifts that are different from the other.

Julia is so artistic and blessed by a gift of being able to draw magnificently. She loves the Lord, she is beautiful and graceful.

Aubrey is just a blessing. She dances quite well, and I am so impressed by that because I can't keep time with music. Aubrey is a beautiful child who loves the Lord and has a quiet spirit -- she feels things very deeply, yet doesn't show it all the time.

Chase is my only grandson. I love him to no end. He is athletic, and very kind spirited. He is fun to be around. He is a good boy.

Lila is just a hoot. She is so smart. Such fun. She says some of the funniest things. Her intelligence has been apparent since she was very little. I expect her to grow to be a woman of God. Chris had some trouble when she was born--Lila was very large and was stuck inside. It was very scary. God chose to protect Chris and Lila during that time, and I am so grateful for His grace.

Eden loves the Lord. She is very dramatic and so much fun to be around. She got baptized this year. I was honored to be there when she did it.

Addy Lin is amazing. That little girl is like a whirling top. Always spinning out of control. She has a very sweet spirit, and she is loving most of the time. She loves her big sister and sometimes goes out of her way to show everyone that.

I am expecting Claire very soon and can't wait to get to know her. All in all, I think my grandchildren are the best!

Thank you, God. You did good. You picked the perfect family for me.

Just thinking...

I wonder what happens to people who you thought were your friends? What happens when they drop out of your life? What are you supposed to think? I used to think I was a pretty good friend, but now, I am not so sure. Several people in my life have dropped out of my life. Completely dropped out. I am very sad about this. What makes it okay to be friends for awhile, then stop being friends? Stop emailing? Stop talking? Stop finding time to be together? Unfriending me on facebook? I realized the other day that if it weren't for my immediate family, I would have very few (if any) friends. I love my family, but family is not what I am talking about today. I am talking about friends. Friends that I invested myself in. Friends that I guess I let down in some way. What is it about me that makes me so easy to forget? What have I done consciously or unconsciously to become nothing more than an acquaintance? I must be hard to be friends with, that is all I can think of. I didn't think I was a high maintenance friend, but maybe I am. I am going to pray about this and see if I can get an answer.

I am not asking for compliments. I am not trying to get attention. I am not depressed. I am just thinking about this a lot lately. I am just trying to figure this all out.

Children

I have had babies on the brain lately. It started with a baby shower this past weekend. Pregnancy possibility. Then a private adoption thing I heard about. Seeing a new mother with her adopted child. Finding out the sex of a friend's baby. The couple in our church going through IVF. There are so many ways to have a baby. No matter how you get your baby, the end result is universal. Your lives will never be the same again.

I think it is a good thing. Having a child (no matter how that is accomplished) is one way to be sure that you won't be selfish anymore. Nothing like having a child to make you think about someone besides yourself. Those little things demand to be taken care of. Very loudly. Very fervently. Very often. The rewards of having a child are many. Those unexpected hugs around the neck from a sweaty little person are precious. The joy of watching them sit up for the first time, their first smile, their first tooth, their first steps. Such great milestones. Watching them grow is a miracle to behold.

Babies are so cute. Babies are so sweet. Babies sometimes smell delicious, sometimes not. Then they grow up, or at least they think they are grown up.

God give us our children as babies so that we will fall in love with them and not kill them during their high school years.

If you ran an ad for a teenager -- who would want it? Teenagers are typically depicted as surly, smart-mouthed, sleepy, selfish, grouchy, relentlessly needy people. Some of the teenagers I know are certainly like that, though some are not at all like that. Some pre-teen kids are already on that track. Some elementary school children are on that track. Some parents allow their children to speak to them in ways they would not let another human being on earth talk to them. Why do they do that? Because those children have worn their parents down and they are helpless to defend themselves. You know that the Grand Canyon was just a trickle of water to start with, don't you? But, after years and years of relentless dripping, the Grand Canyon became what it is today. That is how teenagers get their way. Hours and hours of constant, relentless begging. Honestly, I think most children should be locked away from the time they are 16 until they are about 25. That is when they start realizing that their parents aren't as stupid as they thought they were.

It is true. We have control over what we will take from people. People treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated. So, how come the kids today are allowed to be so disrespectful to their parents and other adults? Because we allow them that freedom. It isn't a good thing. Our children are the next generation's adults. Surly, rude adults in some cases.

I feel old. Honestly, I am sure that every generation's grandmas and grandpas have thought that the children of today get away with way more than they ever got away with. It is true. Mothers and Fathers on the whole hate the music their children listen to incessantly, disapprove of their choice of friends, don't like the way their room always looks, and generally they don't like the time they spend on the phone and computer. The way they dress is questionable, also. That is a whole topic in and of itself. Who is the first parent who said "Let's get a pair of really short shorts that show off the buttocks, and put the word 'JUICY' on the back of it and let our beautiful child wear them." Seriously? Why would you want that on your child's butt? Why do you allow your child to wear such a garment? What has happened to modesty? What has happened to courtesy? How did this happen?

We have let it happen. Our generation raised a generation of adults that said, in effect, that nothing is their fault. It is all your parents fault. Nothing is wrong with you. You are perfect. What a crock. No parent ever got up every day and said, "What can I do today to screw up my kid?" Sometimes it is your fault. You made a wrong choice, you took the wrong path. Your parent didn't stand over you and make you do anything. As an adult, you get to choose the paths you take. You make your own choices. You can either be a victim of your upbringing, or let your upbringing just be part of what makes you your own person. Everyone endures adversity. It is how we handle that adversity that makes us strong, not the adversity itself. Our reactions and choices make us into responsible, happy adults, or makes us into whiny, self-absorbed, miserable adults. Stop letting your children talk to you like you are nothing. Stop letting them decide where you eat dinner. Stop letting them make the decisions about themselves -- they don't know what is best for them. Take charge of those kids and raise them into people we can be proud of. Respectful, honest, God-fearing people.

That is all we want for our kids, so it is our responsibility to help mold them with those intentions. So go raise your kid to be the kind of person you think everyone would like to emulate. Go on, you can do it!

Church Snobs

What I am going to say will offend some. What I am going to say is going to make some mad. However, I do not think I can rest until I say this.

I am happy that you LOVE your new church. I am excited for you that you have found your place. I don't wish you anything but peace, and I don't begrudge your decision to attend that church. I just want the same consideration in the choice of my church. No church is perfect, because they are run by people. People can unintentionally offend, people hurt other people without meaning to, people are sometimes mean, people are human with human frailties. We all make mistakes and are all imperfect. Thankfully, Jesus has our backs.

Your church is probably great. Your church is probably where you need to be. Your church has probably got wonderful people in it. Your church may have deep intellectual subject matter. Your church may fill up your weekdays with activities. Your church's music may be awesome. Your pastor may be the greatest thing since sliced bread. Your church may possibly be the answer to your prayer to God. If so, I am so glad you found it. What I have to say is this - Don't say mean or hurtful things about my church just because you like yours so much better. That makes you a church snob, and I will pray for you.

We have many churches and many different personalities in our town. It isn't the church or the building that makes a church right for someone. It is the relationship with Jesus that matters. If you love your church, that is great, but you should keep your comments and digs about your former church to yourself. What you sow, you shall reap, so be careful what words you use. Sour grapes are not a good meal.

I just pray that you will see that it is not about you. It is about Jesus. I wonder how Jesus feels about you saying mean things about His church. I doubt that He is proud of your actions, and He may even be a little embarrassed.

I pray that I am not a church snob, although, I do love my church. I just don't see the need to rub everyone's nose in it.

Fashion Nonsense

I don't approve of scantily clad young girls washing cars. I know, I am old fashioned, but really? They have to wear short shorts and skin tight tank tops to wash cars? I am not a fan of youth raising money by having car washes. I think that there are too many of them, and I find the children posted in the medians of the highway a traffic hazard. Where are their parents when they go to these activities? Have we, as parents and/or grandparents, lost our ability to say, "Go back inside and come out with something decent on."? How have we let this happen? Who was the first parent to let their kid go outside with his father's jean shorts down around his butt cheeks? When on earth is that going out of style? I saw a young man walking outside yesterday with his entire butt showing out of the top of his giant shorts that went down to is ankles. How are they still considered shorts? He had on underwear (thank the Lord), but his pants were clearly 5 sizes too big for him. I, for one, did not want to look at his underpants. How is that attractive? I know I am not a clothes horse, nor am I particularly trendy or fashionable, but I do know what looks terrible. Just check out some of the clothes on the awkward photo site. Those are some terrible clothes. When did we become desensitized to decent apparel? Modesty is a virtue that is lacking on a large scale in many of our young people. I guess when the hippies decided to burn their bras, they left the fashion world with a lot of options. I know that clothes don't make the man, but you can sure come up with some snap opinions when you look at some of the outfits that people wear. I am afraid that I cannot help but make rude comments under my breath when I see what people are wearing these days. Not that it is any of my business.

A Baby Girl

Well, we just got the news. My newest grandchild will be a girl.  So exciting. I can't wait to get to the stores and shop for her. I love my grandchildren. God did good when He created them. Praise Him for all his many blessings. They are all such special people. This one will be my number seven and her mother's number five. I am so blessed. Her name will be Claire Victoria-Marie Carter. They are using her paternal grandmother's name for the middle name (Victoria) and Marie is Chris' middle name and my middle name, so, she is named after her mother and maternal grandmother. I love it and I am honored by that. Claire will certainly be loved, that is for sure.

I thought this baby was going to be a boy. I have been right in my predictions for a long time now, but the last three predictions have been wrong. My mojo is off. Don't know why. I used to be so good at this. I just told my niece/cousin the other day that I thought her baby was going to be a girl. I guess we better get out the blue stuff. I have been wrong so much, that I wouldn't take much stock in my predictions anymore.

That said, I am very excited that this is a baby girl. However, I would have been just as excited if it had been a boy. I love my grandchildren--every single one of them. I guess I could say that I am partial to girls, having only had girls, and having six of my grandchildren be girls, but I love my boy grandchild, too. He is very lovable and so very special.

Each one is different from the others. Briefly, here is the way they are:

Julia - very artistic, very secure in herself, beautiful, smart, my first.
Aubrey - very sweet, very kind, beautiful, smart, my second.
Chase - very tender hearted, very much a boy, handsome, smart, my third.
Eden - very dramatic, very crafty, beautiful, smart, my fourth.
Addy Lin - very busy, very loving, beautiful, smart, my fifth.
Lila - very opinionated, very verbal, beautiful, too smart for her own good, my sixth.
Claire - TBD - I am sure she will be just as perfect as all the others.

There are so many other attributes that they have that if I listed them all, they post would be entirely too long. As you can guess, I think highly of my grandchildren. I believe they will be awesome adults because they are such awesome kids. They are being raised by Christian parents who love them and lift them up in prayer every single day. I pray for them, too. I pray for their parents. I love my daughters more than they could possibly imagine. I think they are very awesome individuals, and I think they are good wives to their husbands, and good mothers to their children. They grew up to be very special women to a lot of people, and they did this in spite of the mistakes that I made as a mother. I share them with very special grandparents, too. Their other parents are good people who love them and pray for them and their grandchildren as well. They make great in-laws for my girls. I know that my girls are loved by their husbands' parents. That is a good thing. Actually, that is a great thing.

I think my family and their families are the greatest.

Another Conundrum

Oh, man. It seems like I cannot catch a break. It is a known fact that I have a slight affection for office supplies. Pens, ink, note pads, post-its, etc. Well, someone very sweet gave me an olive tree box complete with post-it notes. It is proudly setting on my desk. Alas, however, I will never be able to use the post-its in it. There is a perfectly logical explanation.

Why you ask? That is such a great question. The reason is because I cannot find anything to refill it should I use up all the post-its in it. I spent a few minutes this morning checking out the office supply sites and that size is not available. Now, why would they make such a beautiful box and then not have the size post-its available for refills? I have no earthly idea. The problem is, I CANNOT use it now. Because, you ask? Because I cannot possibly use it for fear of running out of the right sized post-it notes. You see my problem? I am completely unable to use them.

It sounds like a silly problem, but for someone with office supply OCD, I cannot control myself. I have tried. My children have been known to kid me about my note pads. I cannot use them because if I do, then they will be gone. Simple enough. I use scrap paper or the backs of old notes instead. I have lovely note pads, and if I have more than one, then I can use them. If not, then no. Not possible. I keep them in a box on my computer desk.

Just in case anyone reads this and can find them, the size of the post-it is 2 5/8 x 3 inches.

Help me.

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. I had a great day. Good service at church. Blessed by that. Got to spend time with some very special ladies in the church nursery loving on those sweet little babies.

I feel completely valued and loved. My kids did pictures of the grandchildren specifically for me. They even dressed them in purple (my favorite color). I love them. I love the pictures. I am so honored to have been given these beautiful daughters from God. I am completely blown away by the wonderful women they have become. They are just so great.

Wayne hung my new light fixture over the table in the dining room -- I didn't think he was going to do that, but was pleasantly surprised that he did. He bought me a very thoughtful gift. He loves me. I am totally blessed.

I got a sweet text from my little sister wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.

We had a good cookout with Wayne's mom at his sister Amy's house. Was surprised with a very thoughtful gift from the Israeli family that Amy has been working with (made me all misty-eyed).

Such good times with family. Catching up. Watching the children play with such gusto and abandon. Taking pictures. Eating way too much fabulous food. Talking with sisters-in-law. Enjoying my beautiful nieces and their wonderful kids. Loving this special celebration. Savoring the time together. Love my family. Feeling very emotional and tender hearted today.

Even still--as good as the day was--I miss my mother. I just do.

Conundrum

Lately, I have been thinking about my language. I have been wondering...if you use different words for swear words, is that really any different than actually using the swear words? Honestly, doesn't God already know what you were going to say before you cleaned it up? Who are we trying to fool? I need to clean up my act. I use inappropriate words sometimes. Sometimes more than sometimes. It is something that I have been working on for awhile. Something that I will probably always have to work on. Why do we need to use swear words? I do not know. All I know is this...I need to clean up my words.

"Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them." Ephesians 4:29.

That should be enough for me. The Bible says it. I need to just do it.

Good Friday

Friday, April 2, 2010
Good Friday can mean many things. It can mean, "Good, it's Friday." It can mean, "Wow, this is a good Friday," or it can mean that this is the day that most Christians contemplate what Jesus did for us. He died for us. He gave up everything He had for us. Did He know when He was a child what He was going to have to do? Can you imagine knowing that and trying to live a normal life? I am so glad that Jesus did what he did, and I am thankful that He was willing to do that for me. I am awed by the knowledge that He would have died for me even if I was the only person on earth. I am special to Jesus. I have much to contemplate this day.

I almost lost my child. I have lost two babies before they were born. I know about loss. I have lost my mother, my father, my grandparents, and numerous other special people. I think that once you get to be my age, you recognize what an honor it is to have family members. How could God let His son die for us? He did not set out to do this because it was an easy thing to do--He knew that as humans, we couldn't do it for ourselves, so He gave up His Son for us. I can imagine that knowing that Jesus was going to come out of the tomb was a comfort, but the pain that He had to go through before he died was horrific. I am sure God was grieved at knowing what his Son was going to have to go through to sacrifice Himself for our sins. The pain that I felt when I thought that my daughter was going to die was an unbearable pain. I hated it. I was mad. I was hurting. I was lost. I cannot imagine giving birth to a child and knowing it was going to die a horrible death, even knowing as He did that He was going to rise again and rule with Him.

Jesus did this for you, too. Hopefully, you already know this and have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. My prayer is that if you do not know Him, that you accept Him as your savior. It is never too late to turn to Jesus. He is waiting anxiously for all to come to Him. Don't wait. It is so great to have the knowledge that I am going to forever be with Jesus in Heaven. I don't have to walk this earthly path alone. He is with me every step of the way.

Thank you, Jesus for your sacrifice for me. I am so honored to be one of your chosen people.

Valentine's Day

I don't see why there is such a controversy over Valentine's Day. Isn't Thanksgiving just another Thursday? Isn't Easter just one Sunday when everyone goes to church like they should do in the first place? No, I haven't forgotten why we celebrate Easter, but not everyone does. I am not trying to denigrate those other special days, I am just pondering why Valentine's Day causes such vehemence in people.

Honestly, I don't see why people get in an uproar because of this day. If it isn't a "real" holiday, then why is it celebrated with such gusto by some folks? Personally, I could take it or leave it. I don't have a strong opinion of Valentine's Day. It should just be a fun day where you go above and beyond to show your special someone that you care. Yes, it should happen every day, but it rarely does. Let the romantics have a field day with it.

Give it a rest Valentine's Day haters. Everyone has an opinion, but for those who love Valentine's Day, don't spoil it for them. Let them enjoy being special to someone, and being special for someone. Play along. It really won't hurt a bit if you do. You just might make someone's day -- and who couldn't use some extra attention?

There's No Place Like Goal

Today at Weight Watchers I heard a talk about our struggle to lose weight by a comparison with the Wizard of Oz. Now, I like the Wizard of Oz very much, so this one made an impression on me. As anyone knows, sometimes on the way to losing weight, you get tired of dieting. I know, I know, Weight Watchers is a "lifestyle change, not a diet." I am experiencing what I like to call my wavering of motivation. I am sick of it. I don't intend to not do it, I just want everyone to know that I am sick of it.

Whatever. Anyway, here is what I got out of today's meeting.

Okay, I was sucked up into the cyclone of overeating and being fat. I dreamed of a place where there weren't any restrictions on what I could eat. A magical place where no matter what I ate, I would not gain weight. A place of color and happiness. So, somehow, I knocked myself out and dreamed this:

I woke up in a place where when you kill someone (accidentally, of course), they give you candy. I like candy. A good start. Those small folks told me of a wizard that could help me get me back home where I could eat whatever I wanted and not gain a pound. I was relieved and anxious to get there. I figured that this place was magical, so it would be a cinch. Not so. They told me I had to go on a journey down the yellow brick road to find this wizard. Now, I was thinking how easy this was going to be, but alas, it was not so. I needed to walk down this road (and get some exercise and earn activity points) to get to the wizard. Okay. So, off I went.

I met this really skinny guy along the way (he had no brain). He wanted to go with me to the wizard to get him a brain. I figured, why not? He was pretty bossy and opinionated for someone without a brain, but off we went. Along the way, we met a tin guy who lamented that he had no heart. So, we invited him along to join us. First, we had to lube him up because he had been standing still so long, his joints were bothering him (that is what he gets for not moving enough). Off we went. Further along, we met the lion. He wanted courage. We invited him along. We had trees throwing apples (between one and three points each) at us. We didn't drink enough water, but no one noticed. The witch (I will call her "hunger") kept bothering us along the way, but we defeated hunger in the end.

To make a long story short, we ended up finding out that the wizard was all smoke and mirrors, and, thus, was a fraud. There is no easy fix. We have all the tools we need inside ourselves to get through this journey of weight loss. We don't need a good witch to point it out to us. We all wear the ruby slippers.

We have the courage to get to Weight Watchers and start the process.
We have the heart to want to be healthier and happier.
We have the brains to make the right choices.

We need to click our ruby slippers together and keep saying to ourselves "There's No Place Like Goal."

No one is going to care how long it takes me to accomplish my goal. No one is going to say, "Remember those weeks when you didn't lose any at all, or those weeks when you only lost .4 lbs.?" The goal is the goal. The rest is the process.

I need to forgive myself when I falter. I need to forgive myself when I fall off the program. Every single time I choose peas over candy, it is a triumph. I need to focus on the triumphs -- not the negative things that happen. I need to remember the goal is what I am aiming for. Even if one only does the program 80% of the time, it is better than not doing it at all. I am striving.

We have it all in our power. Now, to just do it.

No Idea

I had no idea that I haven't posted since September until my sister mentioned it last night. That is a long time. Much has happened since September. Some mundane, some life changing.

Let's see...
September - the grandkids went back to school. Eden had a really hard time for awhile with being scared, but she overcame it and goes to school with a happy heart most days. She conquered her fears. Lila loves her preschool and Addy Lin does, too. The big kids don't say much about school. They are pros by now. Julia is starting her junior year. She will graduate next year. Yikes. Aubrey is taking "Shop" in high school. Chase rarely mentions school. I guess he is doing fine or I would have heard about it.

October - Halloween party at Bethany's home. Great times...great friends...great chili.

November - Thanksgiving. Good family time for everyone.

December - Life changing. Third anniversary of my mother's death. My little zombie dogs both passed away. Maddie Biscuit (the blind one) died on Dec. 11th, and Sophie Elizabeth (the deaf, smelly, and crazy one) died on Dec. 30th. Sophie just didn't want to live without Maddie. She starved herself to death, and we had tried every trick we knew to get her to eat, but she would not. She distanced herself from us even. She wouldn't even come into the house. It was the saddest thing I have ever witnessed. It is so strange without them. As much as I complained about them, I miss them every single day. They had 14 good years, and now they are playing with Jesus. My sister said that if Maddie had drowned all those months ago, it would have been horrible, but when I saved her life, she got a few extra months of love and care, and then she died peacefully in her sleep. A nice way to go.

Well, now you are caught up. I will try to do better this year. Not such long lapses.