Collections

I was watching a You Tube video yesterday about a man that has a record collection of millions of vinyl records. He needs to sell these records because of health problems. He is astonished that no one wants them. He has had no serious offers for his millions of records. I wonder why he is astonished. Who has a record player to play them on? Not everything that one collects becomes a treasure, or not every collection becomes profitable once one decides to sell it. I should talk. Seriously.

I have a few collections. Ask my kids. Thank the Lord, I do not own millions of anything. My girls would be horrified. I have a slight OCD tendency towards owning things. Sometimes just owning these things is satisfaction enough. They don't have to be used. I can hardly rest until I have the complete collection of whatever it is that I fancy. I become obsessed with the need to have the complete set. Then, of course, I would rather have two or three sets of something so just in case something happens to the complete set, then I have a backup set. You see how this works? You see how easily it gets complicated?

Here is the problem with my collection of stuff. I can barely use the collection of things -- whatever they may be -- yarn, embroidery thread, patterns, material, etc. I once bought a box of handmade cards from a wholesale warehouse store and could barely bring myself to use them. I had to give them to my daughter in order for them to be used. I don't know why I couldn't use the cards, but in my convoluted mind, I guess if I used them up, I wouldn't have them anymore, and the collection of cards wouldn't be a collection anymore, the set would be broken up, etc. It is hard living inside my head. So much is going on.

I do have a hard time parting with things. I don't mind giving something away if a person intends to use it, but I don't like to just get rid of something because I don't "need" it anymore. What has need got to do with anything?

I have many little bowls. I don't know why, but I have to have them. I have tried to purge my cabinets and have actually come away with a few small items of no consequence, but rarely do I actually get rid of much in the way of dishes. I just bought a new set of dishes and had to get rid of my old mismatched plates that I really liked. It was hard to do. I managed to get rid of most of them (I say most because I did keep two of them on the pretext that I could use them to put a cake on and not have to use the new ones for that purpose) by donating them to a good cause garage sale, but it was difficult for me not to go through that box one more time to make sure I didn't get rid of anything "good."

I have a couple of dozen grape candles (they smell wonderful) and I have a hard time using them because they are the last of their kind. How weird is that? What good is a candle if you don't burn it? I should be enjoying the smell, not storing the candles. Again, a symptom of a serious hoarding problem. I burned one once and almost had to be sedated because now I don't have two dozen of them anymore. I can't even use them as a gift because they smell too good and I need to have them.

I must be a crazy person. I can't wait until I am really old and my kids start going through my closets or drawers and see the random stuff that I have kept for no good reason. I have stuff in drawers that has no purpose at all, but I can't throw it away. Someone should help me. If they would only say, "I need this...may I have it?" That would take away some of my angst -- I could possibly give it to them with a clean conscience if I could part with it -- and then they could throw it away at their house. No harm done. It sounds simple enough to me.